Easier said than done. Catching chickens is not so easy. Especially wild chickens. See we are starting this recipe from scratch, and I mean the very beginning. You do not need to buy ingredients. Everything you need is in the back woods in your yard. Now first you have to know how to hunt the chicken. Go into those woods and take a deep breath. Good now doesn't that feel good. Now strut a bit. There now your confidence is moving to your heart. You are starting to get in touch with that chicken.
See, before you can catch that chicken you have to get in touch with the chicken inside of yourself, because as you catch that chicken you also have to tame your chicken. Now this may sound tricky, but I assure you this has been done many times in the past, and will be again by many such like minded souls. Therefore take a few minutes to strut the length and width of your yard looking into the woods as you move your neck in and out.
When you reach the woods continue strutting and begin making the chicken call. "Hello, uh chicken I uh, I'm into you. I'd really like to meet up please. Now is a good time. I'm here for you." Ok, good try on that but you forgot your strut. It needs a little umph. Make sure you practice this call in the yard, before you reach the woods where it will surely hear you. 1-2-3- strut. 1-2-3 strut. Feel that confidence oozing into your body.
Ok, ready to make that call? "Hey, chicken wuz up? I am in your neighborhood today and thought I'd give you a call. It's a beautiful evening. Want to go for a walk?"
Now the chicken is not sure what to make of you. He's not sure if a walk with you is a good idea. He senses something might be up, so you need to reassure him. Try scratching in the dirt a bit, chatting and doodling so you don't sound to serious but are just wanting to have a bit of fun. See, now he's feeling better already. See, chickens strut, but they are a bit wishy washy. They like to walk about, but they're used to doing it alone or in big groups of chicken friends, not with one such chicken caller as yourself. But if you can convince him to walk with you, you'll be that much closer to catching him.
Now make sure this chicken does not know you are out to get him. This would for sure scare him away for good. Let him think the walk is simply casual--a time for friendly gibber-jabber.
He won't know what's coming, but he'll thank you for it later.
If you have any doubts about this chicken, the walk will either reassure you or you'll know this is not the right chicken for you. You see to make our spicy chicken, we need to have the chicken who is ready for spice. That's why you need to do the research ahead of time. Make sure the demographic you are hunting in is just right for the type of chicken you need. If your backwoods is filled with lame chicken, you'll need to look in other woods.
Now don't fret people. I told you this was not easy. If this happens, and you are already in your back woods and you realize the chicken near you are a bunch of hobos, just remind yourself of the type of chicken you do not want meaning, not them, and check to make sure you are not just like them before moving on to another property. Now I say check yourself because to catch the "spicy" chicken, you need be like the "spicy" chicken because you are the one to add the spice-- so make sure you have the spice to add--because no matter how confident that chicken is, they do not have the spice you have.
Let me remind you, too, that chickens by their very nature are not confident--they just act that way to put off predators. Therefore, you are going to get to them by constant real encouragement. Once you are in the right demographic and you go on your walk, then you'll know if this is the chicken worth pursuing.
If he is, then butter him up with constant encouraging and edifying words. Listen to him talk and try to see the world through his eyes. If you can do this with a genuine heart, in no time at all he'll walk right into your arms, guaranteed.
All right, step one is accomplished! Once he walks into your arms, he will let you tie him to you and you can carry him home.
Once you've got him home, you simply warm him up in the hot pan. Of course the temperature and timing of it all varies by type of chicken and size, etc... but you'll figure it out. Now add the spice before putting him in and keep checking on him and adding spice to taste. You know this chicken you worked so hard for is going to be the meal of meals, maybe it will even last forever.
